Essence
by Joseiko
Summary: A sequel to Permanence. A story yet completed. Shikamaru is the focus of the story. Shikamaru finds the changes in his life difficult. He struggles to hold on to who he believes himself to be. Set in my gritty Konoha!


The first time he touched her they pretended nothing happened.

He had been munching on fried dumplings when her little boy came to snatch it away from him. He pulled his hand away since the dumpling was hot. It landed on his naked chest. He cursed. She came over and pressed a cold cloth on the spot. He'd only taken of his shirt because the kid was prone to making a mess when feeding.

His heart pounded against his chest. A ridge formed in the crotch of his pants. Her son pooped his diaper. Her port wine eyes bore in his obsidian ones. He wondered briefly if he was caught in a dream. How far did the bond between pupil and master go? What would be the most dishonorable thing he could do?

In fear, he clothed himself and he left. Little Asuma needed his diaper changed. She left to tend to him. When she returned, he was gone. Cowardice came in handy.

He had a lot of work to do.

At least that was a good excuse. It wouldn't take him long to finish it, but what was the rush?

He walked at an easy pace between the shops of the village.

At a familiar shop he saw his teammates.

Her blue eyes seemed to always seek him out.

Choji pretended to ignore the changes that were happening. The breasts, the legs, the body were all something he was sure the larger man masturbated to wanton thoughts of in the darkness of his room. Since they had become roommates, he was able to confirm that Choji was still a virgin like him. However, their mutual teammate was making that fact exceedingly difficult to ignore lately.

"Shika! Come join us!"

Her boobs bounced with her invitation.

He strode up to the counter and sat in between them. Ino smelled like lilacs.

"It's nice to see you today. We rarely get together like this anymore, huh?"

Her rested on his knee a moment before squeezing it. He wanted to fly off his stool but thought better of it. He gave Ino a small smile. She removed her hand and ate her food happily.

She asked Choji if he wanted to go see a movie later. A friendly invitation. She neglected asking him since he would only fall asleep.

He finished his lunch and departed.

He had a lot of work to do.

Kakashi was the Hokage now. He was disturbingly astute and timely with his paper work.

Like a conjured spirit the Hokage appeared beside him. Upon first glance, he still looked like an ordinary jounin. If not for the necklace worn around his neck, there was no indication that he was the chief of the village.

"I have a mission that I need you to take."

He didn't say a word.

He followed the Kage back to his office. There, Tsunade and a village psychoanalyst, Hatsumomo, sat waiting for him.

"Hi Shika," said Momo. She was actually quite fond of the young shadow ninja. He'd proven vital the last mission involving the Sakura/Yamato case. It took all of his cunning to bring that case to a close.

"Shikamaru, this is a mission that we felt only you were suitable for," said Tsunade. Recently, she had taken to smoking a pipe like her predecessor. She'd never fall in battle. So maybe to lung cancer?

The two Kage's studied him intently. It was true he had held back a lot. He never wanted to be a candidate for anything. He was perfectly content staying a chuunin. Lately, they began to suspect he was Hokage material. Of course, everyone still had the utmost faith in their Golden Boy. However, should he die in battle or doing something insanely dumb, they had to have options.

"What's this about?"

Shikamaru enjoyed a certain candidness with both of the Hokages. He didn't know why they allowed it.

"You're going on a mission with Momo," said Kakashi. It was weird because Shikamaru could see the whole of his face. The villagers had expressed they wanted to finally see what the man looked like. He was the Hokage after all. Momo was his light and love. Shikamaru had met only a short while ago. He knew he enjoyed the woman's company. She had a very soothing voice. She smelled good. Always pleasant. A nice lady. He wondered what had she done to get chosen for this.

Right now, Kakashi wore a serious expression. He was overly protective of his girlfriend even though she was probably one of the fiercest women in the village.

"It has certain requirements," he continued. It was as if it was painful for him to speak.

"You may have sleep with Hatsumomo," Tsunade finished. She said it as if she were announcing rain was coming.

Shikamaru didn't react. He simply left the room. He traveled down to the street and continued to the Intelligence Unit. He had no time for missions like that. They would just have to find someone else.

Just as he was about to enter his office, he was suddenly standing in front of the two Hokages. ANBU.

"Listen, I don't accept this mission, okay," said Shikamaru. Damn he needed a smoke. He quit because of the baby. Kurenai didn't want it around him.

"Shika, we don't have a choice," said Hatsumomo softly. "It's not definite, but it may be a situation later."

She was dating the Hokage for crying aloud.

"Then shouldn't Kakashi—"

"I can't for obvious reasons," he finished. "You're the only one suitable for this."

"I can't accept that," said Shikamaru. His eyes traveled outside to a cloud idly resting in the sky.

"Nara Shikamaru," said Kakashi. "This is not a request."

With that Kakashi left the room leaving his weight behind. The order was there between them resting on the table. Stamped and signed by the man himself. Hatsumomo sat staring at something in her lap. Tsunade rose and wandered over to the window.

"This life of shinobi is not convenient. Kakashi chose you because of your skill. Because you're an honorable little kid. Don't misplace his trust."

Shikamaru could care less. His girlfriend looked as though she wanted to cry. He thought she would've been married to Kakashi by now. Something occurred on their mission to the Land of Blossoms. He thought he had arrived on time to help them.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe what ever occurred was truly terrible and he didn't assist them at all. He tried not to think about the case.

"Hatsumomo," he said. "What's this all about?"

"It's a mission sent to us by the Tsuchikage himself."

"The Land of Lightning needs us? Why? Why would I have to…with…"

"The daimyo is doing very criminal things. The Tsuchikage can prove it. However, he is partial to the incumbent daimyo's opponent. Approaching the court now would cause it to appear stage and biased. Therefore he asked Kakashi to conduct his own investigation officially. He's sending his best."

Shikamaru hummed. This was serious. He couldn't say no even if it was choice.

"What is the survival percentage?"

"With you and I as a team, we only a have thirty percent chance of failing."

Shikamaru shook his head.

"I need more information."

"You will have it. You have 3 days to train for this. Momo will teach what you need know about women."

Shikamaru seriously didn't want to touch the woman. He was sure he would wind up dead in some obscure manner after the mission was over. Then, Momo rose from her seat. She came and stood in front of him. She took his hand in hers.

"Shika-kun, are you a virgin?" Well, wasn't this the ultimate humiliation? He nodded. Her brown eyes seemed to shimmer when she smiled.

"Sometimes even male shinobi have to lend their bodies for the village. We may not have to go that far, but we must be prepared." Of course, he understood that.

He just wished that he had more choice in the matter.

"Come to my apartment at eight, ok?"

Shikamaru left the Hokage's office feeling like he got hit with a ton of bricks. How troublesome. How could he enjoy work now? It was guilty pleasure.

He arrived at his office to find a spiky haired man sitting in his chair.

"I know what this means Shikamaru," said Kakashi. "I don't want you to feel I'm going to hold it against you. Whatever happens between you, I know it will be because you had no other choice."

Shikamaru nodded.

"I've never….been with a woman. I didn't think it would happen like this."

Kakashi smiled. He waved the young man into his own office.

"That's how it happened for me too. I was on a mission with a kunoichi who was older than I was. We went to some ass backwards place. The men in the village were all real perverts. For them not attempt to harm me, she had to make them understand I was hers."

Kakashi let his words hang in the air. The understanding hung between them.

"How old were you?"

"Fifteen," said Kakashi.

"You could've just…"

"I would've failed my mission. Besides, she didn't hurt me. We avoided a serious obstacle. We were successful. They give you an extra percentage of your pay when they learn your innocence was lost. That's a perk I suppose."

Shikamaru shook his head. He'd rather no one knew.

"Shika," said Kakashi, "Momo and I discussed this at length. She was relieved when our choice came down to you. Genma was in that stack. "

"I should feel honor, but all I feel is anxiety," said Shikamaru. He slumped onto his own couch since the Hokage was occupying his desk. He was seventeen. He had his own office. His own door with his name on it. He was a respected shinobi in the village. He was a virgin.

"I understand. Be at Momo's at eight."

With that the Kage was gone. As the title implied, he disappeared like a fleeting shadow. After their talk, Shikamaru felt no better. He looked at the stack of papers on his desk. Encryption sequences. He had to write them all. It would take him all day. He picked up the stack to find all of them completed. Attached to the last one was note that read _Thank You, Shika. Take the day off. -6__th._

So he did_. _

There wasn't a cloud in the sky.


End file.
